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  • Writer's pictureEmma Coyle

Why It's So Important to Have Your Feelings Validated

Updated: Aug 1, 2019

“You’re overreacting”

“That’s not how it is”

These two throwaway comments are no doubt ones that we have all heard from time to time. Perhaps sometimes there might even be an element of truth to them. But, and here’s the key bit, it is not for someone else to tell us how we are feeling or how something ‘is’. What we all need to recognise is that just as others are entitled to have their own feelings, so too are we.

It seems pretty straightforward doesn’t it? I thought so too. However, what I have grown to realise over these past couple of years is just how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking that maybe that someone else is right, I AM overreacting; that’s not how it is. The perception is that it’s easier just to agree with their opinion and avoid conflict rather than to stand up for yourself and say: “Well actually that’s the way I feel.”

But to do this is to let yourself down, as well as to set a pattern for the future, one that is very difficult to break.

So the next time someone challenges you on how you feel by telling you how you should feel, please remember how important it is to remain true to yourself. Don’t let yourself down.

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